School sucks.
Period. End of blog post; there is nothing more I want to say. This is me dropping the mic and walking away.
Except, give me that mic back.
I am nowhere near done discussing why school sucks.
Imma gonna need a few more hours and a coffee break. Someone should call a caterer.
Where was I?
Ahhhh….
School sucks (take two).
Which is really unfortunate, because today, school shouldn’t suck.
To recap,
- I am very well rested
- I just had a week break
- School gives me an excuse to get away from my family
- My crazy, crazy family
- I got to sleep until 6:45 today
- I got to go out to breakfast with my aunt
- We had fun
- I drank an Iced Mocha
- It was really good
- Did I mention sleep?
- Coffee?
- Not taking the bus?
Anyways, I had an ideal set up to an almost okay Monday.
Except, I walk into first period.
The desks are set up in testing format.
My almost okay Monday becomes a terrible Monday.
First, I panic thinking I forgot a test. Luckily, my entire class looks the same way, so I become a little (like .1111112 percent) less worried. And then, someone says the dreaded word.
“Galileo”
Everyone starts to scream. A fire starts. The potted plant starts to wilt, the white boards fall off the wall, and Romeo and Juliet die all over again.
But this time, no feud is fixed and no one is promising statues. There are only the distressed faces of students about to take a standardized test the MONDAY AFTER SPRING BREAK!!!!
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| Me @ Standardized Testing (image source: Jersey Jazzman) |
There are so many things wrong with the sentence above I don’t even know where to start complaining.
But thats okay, because according to the length rubric for these posts, I have 201 words left until the minimum and 701 words left until I hit 500 over the recommended. We have time.
Lets start at the very first reason that sentence (actually two sentences? a baby paragraph?) sucks. To quote, “But this time, no feud is fixed and no one is promising statues.” This is an unpromising start because it means, even after a week plus a day and a weekend break, I still remember the end to Romeo and Juliet.
I thought breaks were meant to cleanse you of your education? That’s what all the tutoring companies advertise over the summer? Are they lying to me? Is that false advertising? The horror.
Anyways, the fact I am still remembering that horrid play makes me upset.
The next (and only second) reason why those sentences suck is the phrase “distressed faces of students.” In my personal opinion, students should not be distressed in school. Learning should be fun (but that’s a whole other blog post mini rant).
Thirdly, the two words standardized testing make me cry. Just typing them to state that they make me cry is upsetting. I hate standardized testing. In fact, I have a factual, long rant on why I dislike them. Here is the link, I suggest reading it. On principle, standardized testing sucks.
Then, lastly, because I am somehow already over the recommended length of a post, the phrase “MONDAY AFTER SPRING BREAK.” And yes, dear reader, the capital letters are totally necessary. 100 percent necessary. I have never felt more passionate about the necessity of something than I feel about using capital tons write MONDAY AFTER SPRING BREAK.
Did I mention it is also first period? First period on the MONDAY AFTER SPRING BREAK.
There should not be anything that requires brain effort, let alone standardized testing.
School sucks.
So much.
The fact some adult person somewhere decided that there would be good test results the MONDAY AFTER SPRING BREAK during first period clearly never learned common sense.
Should there be some sort of common sense test needed to graduate? Or to start a job?
That could be a really good idea.
Someone hire me for big decision making jobs.
I suggest president.
Lots of Love,
Future President Of Decision Making Jobs Shaun
