In An Ideal World, You Would Be Joey Cosentino

Dear Andrew Smith, 

In the past two months, I have become very acquainted with you. Not in a I’m-a-stalker-and-I-hunt-middle-age-male-authors kind of way, but more of a I-am-in-love-with-your-work-and-then-proceeded-to-stalk-your-blog-in-hopes-of-a-third-book sort of way. 

there is literally hair coming out of his helmet and he look at the points on those shoes
(image source: therugbybowl)

I admire you for many things, one of which is making Joey Cosentino love Ryan Dean West canon, but there are more. I admire your usage of blogger, your wit, and how you somehow made me interested in rugby. 

(The rugby thing is really low-key though, watching the sport makes me queasy.)

My love for Winger and Stand Off is known and my immense affection for everything Joey Cosentino is infinite. 

You (Andrew Smith) reading my blog is probably a really large ego boost. You’re welcome for that. 

But, as you are a talented author and I am a sort-of-funny teenage girl, theres not much you can get out of reading my blog. Maybe thats why I choose you for my ideal reader. There is really nothing I can do for you, unless you want to write a novel from the perspective of anxious teenage girl. 

But that probably won’t sell, so don’t write a novel about me. 

What would sell though, is a third installment in the universe of Winger. 

Which is really all I hope you could get from, reading my blog: inspiration to write a third installment. 

This hypothetical third installment should be written from Joey Cosentino’s perceptive. 

Imagine how great that would be; I can already see my tears. 

Imagine the thousands of readers satisfaction of reading the story Winger form Joey Cosentino’s perspective. There is so much potential my blog can’t handle it! 

For starters, THINK ABOUT THE BROTHER INTERACTION!! THINK ABOUT SEEING NICO BEFORE HE WAS TAKEN OUT OF SCHOOL? Also does Joey Cosentino like to surf? Or maybe enjoy a refreshing glass of buttermilk? Where did he learn to play poker? Or how did he get into the O-Hall?

If you haven’t noticed, I really, really want to know more about Joey Cosentino. 

Before I start crying because of all the possibilities, let’s go to another reason I admire you. 

Your blog. 

I have a blog too, but it isn’t nearly as cool as yours. In 2009, you posted 369 blog posts! That is more than one post a day. I’m lucky if I get one post a month. 

Tell me your ways!! How are you so motivated to scream to the internet. 

But, in 2015 you slowed down. It made looking for information about Winger very difficult. 

But, since I am 100% not a stalker, I noticed something in one of your blog posts. It was a name.  A name I am familiar with. I really need to know why this name made it onto one of your lists. 

The name was Annie Altman. 

I miss Annie Altman (probably because she is in Winger and Stand Off and my sixth favorite character in the series). 

I hope that Ryan Dean West (and by extension, Joey Cosentino) are involved in why you mentioned Annie Altman. 

Thank you for your time Andrew Smith. I always have a soft spot for wasting important peoples time. 

Love to those who have read Winger, 

Shaun 

P.S in an ideal world, Joey Cosentino would be my ideal reader, but alas, his author will do 

How My Life Was Ruined....And How I Wrote A Strong Worded Letter About It

Standardized Testing.

The very phrase brings horror into the eyes of every student. 

Eyes start to widen, fingers start to cramp in anticipation, and that poor unfortunate student, starts to sweat. 

Suddenly, in seconds, a once happy classroom turns into a anxiety stricken, yelling, hyperventilating mad house. Students are yelling, demanding answers to frivolous questions that the teacher cannot answer. The entire atmosphere is a mess. 

And, all the freak out, is for nothing. 

Because (in my probably not humble opinion), standardized tests are useless. 

actually 99% of students in the school
(image source: principalspages)

They are very, very useless with zero real world life skill outcome. 

I guess, hypothetically, in a dystopian universe, standardized tests can be useful. If I step out of my standardized-tests-are-ruining-my-life-and-my-schedule perspective, maybe I can scrap up a list of benefits of testing. Below, is my (very failed) attempt. 

• Maybe it tests your intelligence?
• Possibly gives teachers feedback?
• Except for there’s stress?
• And the questions are obscene? 
• And there is a time limit?
• And lot’s of pressure?
• Can occasionally lead to melt downs?
• Which is negative?
• Actually the entire concept is negative?

Now, readers, the very worst part of standardized testing is the way (some) teachers approach the subject. The approach? Teaching to the test. 

To quote my mother, “teaching to the test is stupid and is not actual learning.” 

I have never agreed more with a statement. 

To quote my teacher, “I think my kids are acting out because of the tests.” 

I also agree with that statement. 

Basically, I agree with any statement regarding standardized testing besides “I think standardized testing have a positive impact on student’s mental health and progress.”

To me, the absolute worst part of standardized testing is the backlash. The backlash includes the following:

wow look at all the reality
(image source: blogs.longwood)

• Students acting out
• Unnecessary  yelling 
• Teachers complaining that they have lost their class time resulting in too much homework
• Skewed schedules 
• Teaching to the tests (but that’s a whole other rant)

In result, my lovely teacher has a brilliant idea: write letters and complaints to present to those testing gods and evil school boards who control us!

As the loving, caring, always willing to help (actually, not true. That statement should be more like: as the stubborn, loud, always willing to use a lot of big words to write a small complain) person I am, I decided to write a letter. 

And, as the whole purpose of this letter. I will be sharing the letter with you. Below is my very fun letter that actually only took me like five minutes to write.

Dear Testing Gods;

In the past week, I have taken the English, Math, and Science Galileo testing. For many reasons, I was frustrated with not only the structure surrounding the test, but also the test itself. 

Last year, as an eighth grader, I took the SAT and ACT because of qualifications from the ERB standardized testing from the year before, seventh grade. I like to think of myself as a good student, and by extension, tester. For the SAT, I scored above the Utah average and received an eight on the essay. For the ACT, I received a 22. This year, I am enrolled in all AP and Honors classes. 

This year, my first year in the Utah public school system, I had to take the Galileo tests. They were horrible. That statement could very well stem from my frustration of a changed bell schedule, resulting in me missing or leaving early from many of my high school classes. But, as I reflect once having completed the tests, the tests itself had many problems. 

To start, the questions were worded and structured nothing like the SAT or ACT. This had me doubting the student benefit of taking these tests. I understand many students struggle with test taking anxiety, one of the reasons my parents had me take the tests before I had to as a junior, and I know practice is really the only cure to this anxiety. The Galileo testing is not practice. As an honors student, the tests felt very below my comprehension level. I am not complaining, as there was not adequate time to prepare and frankly, I do not care how I do on these tests. I try my best and check my answers, but beyond that these tests mean nothing to me. My parents also do not care how I perform on these tests. 

Additionally, the content is outdated to the current curriculum. In all three tests, I experienced a wide range of complete comprehension to questioning when the content was taught. Specifically, the biology Galileo. 

The test did not feel stressful, but I am not confident on how I did. Much of the content on the test has not been taught yet in my Honors Biology class yet. Approximately fifteen questions content I recognized from class this year. Much of the questions, specifically the DNA and genotype questions (which was a vast majority of the questions), I recognized from previous science classes and have a basic familiarity with. A basic familiarity does not make me feel comfortable in my results and knowledge on a midyear test. 

I also experienced this in the English and Math tests, but not to the extreme I did in the biology exam. 

As an honors student, I do not feel Galileo is worth my time. There are many, more efficient ways to collect student information, which is why we are taking the test according to some teachers. 

The stigma around Galileo testing is poor. I often hear that students will not be trying because they do not care, or do not wish to be placed in honors classes. Kids have no respect for the tests and even the smartest students to not put in 110% into the tests. All results are skewed and not an accurate representation of student intelligence. 

Thus, leading to the next few weeks of classes being massive review. Teachers assume students do not understand basic concepts because students decided to engage in mindless chatter and childlike behavior during designated test time. This “review” time is unproductive and takes away from actual learning. 

To add to this already horrible situation, Treasure Mountain Junior High and and Park City High School are on different bell periods during testing weeks. This is because the high school has elected not to take Galileo testing. Because of this I missed an entire week of math; my parents were very upset. I am also leaving classes early and arriving late because of the bell schedule. The Galileo testing affects other aspects of our school day. 

To conclude, I do not feel like Galileo is helping me or my peers in any way. To put it bluntly, it is a waste of time, money, and effort. 

Thank you, 

-Shaun 

If you can’t sense my intense hatred of standardized testing in that letter, I suggest you get your subtext reading glasses checked. 

And now I’m checking out (ha!)

Shaun 

How A Person (Character?) Effectively Ruined My Life

In my last blog post, I professed my love for Joey Cosentino (and by extension, the series Winger). Now, I am going to re-profess my love for Joey Cosentino and Stand Off , the sequel to Winger. 

At first, I was hesitant to read Stand Off, I did not want to ruin a perfect book. But, a friend of mine convinced me I HAD to read it (she may of may not have said Joey Cosentino was a major theme in the novel), so I caved and read the damn book. 

(image source: books)

Boy am I glad I read that damn book. 

Like Winger, Stand Off was incredible. The writing, humor, wit, cartoons, characters, and themes were top notch. Andrew Smith is a very talented author. 

Sadly, like Winger, in the last ten(ish) pages there was YET ANOTHER GAME CHANGER THAT EFFECTIVELY RUINED MY LIFE. 

I am not being dramatic here. The end of Stand Off was so ughhh! that I have been mentally composing a letter to the author since I finished*. 

Do you see that little * after finished? That little icon that usually means there is a clause to whatever is being stated before? Well guess what? 

There is a clause! (surprising)

When I say finished, I mean the sequence of events went something like this:

Night one: Receive Stand Off in the mail, read it all night. Every time Joey Cosentino is mentioned, cry. Cry honest-to-god tears about how f*ing sad life was for Joey Cosentino and Ryan Dean West. Fall asleep dreaming about what could have been. 

Day one: Spend the next day re-re-reading Winger, cross examine literally everything. Spoiler: my heart broke for Joey Cosentino literally every other page. I am still feeling whiplash of the emotions.  

Night two: Reread Stand Off and cross examine everything Nico Cosentino (!!!) says. 

Day two: Sort of stalk Andrew Smith’s blog during English class. 

Finished. 

If you, dear reader, are observant and noticed there was a second character with the last name Cosentino, kudos. If not, there is a (!!!) after it to show my excitement and direct your attention to it. 

Nico Cosentino. 

Younger brother of Joey, slight recluse, sick rugby player, and an effective ‘bro-er’. 

Ryan Dean West and I had the same reaction when Nico was introduced. 

Run, scream, fall, and hurt ourselves in emotional grief. 

Nico (probably) had the same reaction as Andrew Smith did (as he was writing this and probably cackling at my [and other reader’s] future heart break), ‘bro’ us and laugh at our emotional pain. Or, in Ryan Dean West’s case, falling in front of his dead best friends family. 

In this scene, the ever horrible foreshadowing occurred. Mrs. Cosentino, for the first time in the novel, mentioned how much Joey Cosentino talked about Ryan Dean West. This lead to Ryan Dean and I being very confused. The the same idea was brought up many times later. 

So…WHY WAS JOEY COSENTINO TALKING ABOUT RYAN DEAN WEST TO HIS FAMILY???

I had an idea, from way back when I read Winger, but I had no clue it would be canon. 

Guess what?

It was canon.

Joey Cosentino was in love with Ryan Dean West. 

Joey Cosentino (through his brother) literally confessed his love. 

And Ryan Dean West’s reaction was to think “Of course Joey loved me. I love Joey too.”

This sounds perfect. 

It should be perfect. 

Except Joey Cosentino is dead and Ryan Dean West is not. 

Ryan Dean West is not over Joey Cosentino. (nor am I)

The only reason Ryan Dean even knows about Joey Cosentino’s love is because he asked Nico. Because he snuck back into the O-Hall and went to Joey Cosentino’s room. Ryan Dean West took his pillow case and clothes and a note. A note that said “TELL RYAN DEAN” and other things that Joey Cosentino had to accomplish, like calc homework.

Spoiler: Joey Cosentino died before he could tell Ryan Dean West. 

His brother had to do it. 

I cried. 

There were lots and lots of tears. 

Stand Off was an amazing book. 

The End. 

Lots of Love, 

Shaun

P.S. read Winger and Stand Off because they are perfect and the emotional  destress is worth it. 
P.P.S Joey Cosentino never finished his calc homework

Joey Cosentino (And Other Things That Make Me Cry)

When I was little, my mother used read me American Girl books. The original kind, with historical stories, plot lines, and powerful female characters (not the new trash). I loved those books more than I loved myself. My mom would also read me other books, but none stuck with me more than the American Girl (AG) books. 

Why?

I have no clue. I was five. I didn’t care about anything more than if Emily’s little sister became heathy (fun fact: I can tell you detailed descriptions of all the original AG dolls stories. The little snippet above is from the doll Samantha’s story.)

Now, as I am currently an aged teenager (eye roll), I know a little bit more about why I loved the AG books. The revolution came to me thousands of books later, long after my mom stopped reading to me. 

The answer: the characters. I loved spending seven (eight if I was lucky) novels following the same characters stories. It was something magical to me, a five year old, that these twelve years olds (so old!) had lives and problems. I loved following their stories; I felt their pain as my own (and also their embarrassment!)

From my mothers influence, I learned to love to read. I developed a reading level and read dozens of books a month throughout all of my childhood. It was incredible.

Now, I read at least five books a months (silly schoolwork takes up all my time and the novels have grown significantly longer), but my love for reading has grown. Additionally, my love for character plot lines have exceeded realistic expectations. 

Concluding, I read a lot of books. I retain a lot of plots. I strongly like almost every book I read. 

Which brings us to the question: what makes a book special? Why do we love a book?

I can’t answer that; I don’t think anybody can. But I can tell when a book is special. I can recognize the tingly feeling in my chest when a line is just right. I know the feeling of embarrassment when I put the book down, face red because god dammit! why did the character say that.

As I get older, it has become harder to find books that I love. When I was little, every AG book was my new favorite. Now, I struggle finding books that meet my expectations (which I admit, are very high and very unrealistic). 

That sounds very depressing. 

This blog post will not be. 

My dear reader, I enjoy a lot of books I read. I can recommend many, many incredible books to you. But the problem with reading so many books is that the point of breathtaking becomes higher and higher with each fantastic novel. 

So, it brings me great joy to inform you, I have recently read the best book of this year: Winger by Andrew Smith.

It’s a funny story, actually. I didn’t even want to touch this book, let alone read it. But I did and here we are. So, the story goes:

I was in a local book store in Connecticut with my sister and grandparents. We had stopped in to find books for the train ride into New York City. Usually, it takes me ages to find a book, so I felt very rushed. I was skimming dozens of covers trying to find a book; I was in a panicked mindset before I even picked up my first book. 

Nothing was sticking out to me and my panic increased.  I simply could not spend an hour and a half train ride without a book! 

In my rush, I saw the cover. It’s a graphic and unappealing cover (after you finish the book, the cover is incredible), and a cover I’ve seen millions of times. I’ve never picked it up until then, there was no reason. In my panic, I skimmed the back. I had no other option. 

the official cover
(image source: Andrew Smith)

Now let me tell you, I’ve read my fair share of bad summaries; I’ve written even more. But now, this book took the cake. The summary was so generic and bland I almost threw it.  At this point, the entire book seemed very awful-no-good-and-very-bad

My sister started to call me, shouting we had to check out and leave. I was near tears (really!) so I grabbed the book and slammed it on the counter. 

In my mind, a bad book was better than no book. 

We got to the train; I got comfy and pull out my book. I wasn’t expecting much, so the high quality of the writing shocked me. Then I turned the page and there was a cute, but hilarious comic centered between the text. 

This awful-no-good-and-very-bad book was turning around. I spent the entire train ride engrossed in the story. It was an incredible feeling. Every word had me fall more in love with the character, oh don’t even get me started on the characters. 

This book was really good. 

It has been a very long time since I have loved characters like I loved these ones. I even enjoyed the main characters, a true rarity. 

But (of course there’s a but), as I was reading there was a nagging voice in the back of my head, reminding me of that awful-no-good-and-very-bad summary. The summary was all fun and games until the last sentence. That last sentence included the (seen in almost all YA novels) “and then something really big happened and changed [main characters] life.”

My brain kept nagging and nagging until a character got stabbed. 

Wow! was I relieved. A minor injury and no death to a secondary character! This book really was incredible. And, to top it off, I was only two hundred pages in!

And so I read two hundred more pages, happy and content. I fell more and more in love, but this time, there was no fear of any of my precious characters getting killed. 

And then BAM!! 

A BIG F’ING BAM THAT RUINED MY ENTIRE NIGHT. 

Turns out, the “something big and life changing” was not Kevin getting stabbed, but actually the death of Joey Cosentino.

Not only was Joey Cosentino my favorite character, he was the main character’s favorite person. He was also the only character who really deserved to live. Joey Cosentino was more than just a character, and his death had me in real, honest to god tears. 

And, to make matters worse, his death didn’t even do him justice. (Actually, it did. There was a lot of justice and incredible writing that shouldn’t be allowed because spoiler! I cried). 

But lets back up a little, dear reader, so you understand the tragedy that is Joey Cosentino’s death. 

Four hundred and something pages into this incredible book, there is a page. 

With four lines. 

With ten more pages until the end of the novel. 

And for whatever reason, the author deems it acceptable to kill off Joey Cosentino.

Somehow, he thought it was okay. I have news for you, it was not. 

And, dear reader, if things cannot possibly be worse, there is a sequel. 

A sequel that does not include Joey Cosentino. 

A sequel I will read and cry and pray Joey Cosentino is mentioned on every page. Because he is worth it and (I’m a selfish person here), if I’m not over his death neither can Ryan Dean West be. (Ryan Dean West is the main character number one)

So, dear reader, if you are wondering, there is a lesson in all of my rambling. 

Lesson: Don’t read your kids AG doll books while they are young and impressionable. This will lead to them loving fictional character and eventually reading a book and having their heart torn apart by Joey Cosentino.  

Lots of Love, 

Shaun, whose sequel does not arrive until January 5th