Hitting v. Hitting On

Why is hitting people not an acceptable public action?

I mean, people hit on people and it’s perfectly acceptable. It’s more acceptable to make inappropriate and deeming sexist comments to girls under the pretense of flirting, but it is not socially acceptable to hit someone. I’m not talking about the abusive, leaving bruises kind of hitting, but like lightly tapping with force kind. 

There are so many benefits to hitting people. Like, I am so tired of quoting myself eight thousand times in a row just so people hear half of what I say. In this situation, if I just hit someone (lightly!) I can save my voice and get all of my thoughts out. Win-win situation.

Or what happens when someone is being a rude flirter (as described above) and the only possible way to shut someone up is to hit them. I’m not saying I have experience with this personally, but I could have hit a couple guys for my friends. 

So, why is unacceptable to lightly hit your friends? I mean, I am all for stopping abusive relationships and that respect is a very important thing. 

But if I need to lightly tap my friend for being rude or ignoring me, I should be able to do it without like getting weird looks. 

Now, let’s go back to that nasty thing called flirting (call me a bitter old soul all you want but guess what! you aren’t changing my opinion). Flirting, in theory, sounds lovely.  I mean there are so many options. You can go for the classic threatening suicide if a girl doesn’t say yes a la The Notebook. 

(image source: blogspot)

Or, you know you can ignore the girl you love to impress your friends while secretly practicing your singing a la High School Musical. 

(image source: high school musical wiki)

Sadly, high school boys do not pick up these tactics and choose (out of all the romantic tactics available!) disgusting pick up lines. Not only do these pick up lines sound like they are right off of Tumblr, they also literally can be used on anyone. 

Hint: girls like to feel special.  Corny pickup lines literally turn girls off of you. I suggest maybe a pun or a compliment. 

Also, flirting with a girl in front of her friends (I’m am speaking from the experience of the friend) literally sucks. Like if I’m currently complaining, literally the worst thing you can do is come flirt with my friend. Also, if your pick up lines suck, it’s even worse. 

So lovely readers, don’t send people odd looks in public if they are hitting their friends (please look out for signs of evil intent) and do not ever ever ever use gross pick of lines and please, please politely talk to girls. I hate to break it too you, we are far superior and way better and you all would be dead without us. 

Lots of Love, 

Shaun