How To Not Let A Crazy Mom Ruin Your Night

I love concerts. 

I love basically everything about them; from the loud screaming and the loss of hearing that inevitably comes after. I love watching artists preform and hearing the drums and bass vibrate through me. 

Vance Joy Is My Bae (source: me! this is my picture!)

I just really love concerts. 

Saturday night, I went to the Elle King/Vance Joy concert and basically died. 

It was so incredible. Elle King was so cute and literally the embodiment of wow. She sang really well too. Vance Joy is so talented. I saw him as an opening act in the fall, but wow! wow! wow! he got so much better! His ukulele is the cutest thing ever! I can confirm, dear reader, that he is 100% bae material. 

I really, really, passionately love concerts. 

Sadly, there is one thing I hate about concerts: the other people there. 

They all suck. 

They make me want to cry.

I almost started a fight.

I would have, I swear.

But I’m 5’3 and very blonde looking. It’s a true travesty. Also I was one and a half people away from the security gate separating the standing room and the stage. I was not going to lose my spot. 

I really, really wanted to slap someone though. 

Now, before you think I’m so weird, violent child, let me paint a picture for you. 

There was this family of forty year old sisters, one of the sisters teenage daughter, and her eight year old. 

First, who brings their eight year old to a standing room only, late night concert? Second, who expects to have said eight year old have enough space for three people. 

Apparently, these people. These god awful people crete a bubble around the daughter who was sitting on the floor on her phone. I literally wanted to step on her. 

If you’ve ever been to a standing room only, first come first serve concert, you know that the front is packed. There are so many people, it’s crazy. And even if it’s negative two outside, inside is over seventy degrees because of body heat. It’s incredible, but the feeling of being in the crowd is really cool. 

This mom, apparently has never gone to a concert before. She complained about the heat for ages and asked the security to put on the air conditioning! We were in a warehouse! Literally! The concert was held at the Saltair. 

Next, this was one of my favorite wtf moments of the night, is her mama bear reaction to a girl standing behind her daughter. 

Like a girl comes up next to me, with her hands in her pockets, and stood still. Her friends came up next her and also stood still. The concert hasn’t started yet, the lights has not even dimmed! 

Then, the mom turns around and goes ballistic. She starts yelling at the girl next to me, saying “Don’t you f’ing touch my daughter!!” 

The girl next to me starts yelling back at the mom. Suddenly, the mom is like “don’t f’ing curse around my daughter.” 

I am trying to hold my laughter, because the mom is bat shit crazy. The mom then proceeded to ask security to remove the girls. 

Guess what? She wouldn’t remove them. It was a real shocker. 

What wasn’t a shocker, was the fact the security stood next to the mom for the rest of the night. 

Additionally, there were two twelve year olds behind me who made animal noises the entire time. It was horrible. 

Luckily the concert was kick ass. It was so incredible. Seriously, 10/10 would recommend them.

Go listen to Vance Joy, 

Shaun 

Abnormal Lists And Calmless Storms

The worst part of being in school is school. 

Like sure your friends are there and learning things is pretty cool, but the whole atmosphere of school sucks. There is nothing enjoyable about being stuck in a small, one story building, that has a messed up water supply and about two windows with a bunch of beginner teenagers.

It sucks. 

It’s actually horrible.

0/10 would recommend. 

Sadly, The Us Government is a part of zero percent because they mandate going to school. Which is probably a good thing, but as I sit in first period, it seems like the worst thing in the entire world. 

Probably because it is. 

Before I continue, let m give you, dear reader, some background information on why today is worse than normal. 

Because today, a lovely, sunny day in February, is the day before winter break. 

Winter break.

The glorious seven days where you are expected to do nothing, allowed to sleep until noon, and eat real lunches that can be prepared and not shoved into a lunch box at ass o’clock in the morning. 

Sadly, school does’t have a “calm before the storm” policy. 

I am not watching movies and eating and laughing with friends while we count down the hours till freedom. I am actually studying for an AP test while trying to finish my first period class work. I am also preparing to walk into the cold for seven minutes to my second period class. 

There is no movies or popcorn, only a cold, bitter storm. 

It sucks a lot. Like a lot, a lot. More than I can say (or type? how does this work?)

Literally me (source: dailymail)

There are so many things horrible with the day before winter break. To make it look more concise and fancy, I have organized all of it into a convenient list below. 

• I am in school
• That should say it all
• But I will go on
• Because if I’m in so are you
• I actually really petty
• Reason two: I am evaluating how petty I am and I hate to admit I am anything but perfect
• While I evaluate my pettiness, I have to study for AP geography
• The text book actually makes me fall asleep
• Which is inconvenient because I am sleep deprived and can not sleep
• Because if I sleep I’ll be late to second period
• Oh!
• Reason three: The high school has a different schedule 
• Overall that is just really inconvenient  
• It also forces me to do math on a non math day
• That could ruin a whole day
• Also, rereading this list I realize my reason three is actually reason like eighteen
• I hate math 
• And lists actually 
• There is more than 100 words in this list
• What the hell?
• Who writes lists this long?
• Great
• Reason four: I am an abnormal list maker 

Wow there are so many reasons why school today suck that I couldn’t even count them. And that’s certainly not because of my crappy math skills. Because that would be ridiculous. I am appalled you would think of me like that. Thats very rude. 

Alas, I can’t write any more because I need to study. 

Peace out friends, 

Shaun