An Informal Thank You Filled With Personal Growth

Dear Readers,

This is an informal thank you post. A “I’m so glad someone read this besides my teacher” post. This is also the last graded post (which unfortunately means, most likely last post ever). Right 

now I have over 700 page views on my entire blog. That’s pretty sick for an English assignment. 

I would also like to give a shout out to those nine countries (not including the US) who have viewed my blog. This is a serious shout out to Poland, who has accounted for 30 of my page views. The only country that has a higher traffic rate is the US. Go Poland!

So thank you so much. I have enjoyed rambling to you and being used as a source in some English

this blog was only 50% propaganda
(image source: tumblr blog)

project some eighth graders did. I have enjoyed using this blog as propaganda and spoiling the best book ever (I’m still upset about Winger, there’s no going back). I hope one of you 700 learned something from me, because I have certainly learned a lot from doing this. 

When I started this blog, it was the beginning of ninth grade. It was a mess. A large mess. I mean if anyone read my Who? Me page than you know what a mess I was. It’s cringe worthy to read. 

But, despite the cringe worthiness, it’s kind of cool to see how much better my narrative writing has gotten. That’s pretty cool. I feel like I have really learned a lot on how to tell a story through this project. 

(Okay, I may have developed an unfortunate habit of using parenthesis and lists, but nobody’s perfect).

Also, I think this project has helped me learn to condense my thoughts. At first, the word limit of 500 seemed ridiculous. That’s like 1/16 of my usual ramble. Yet, here I am only going over the word limit by 500 words. That’s pretty impressive, because I used to cut thousands of words out of my blog posts. 

That’s pretty cool. I mean, I still have a problem with rambling (who writes a four page long ted talk? a crazy person? probably? yes, for sure? did the crazy person realize how hard it is to memorize four pages of ramble? no). But I’m getting somewhere. And I have admitted the problem and started working towards it so I’m at like step three on the road to recovery. 

Anyways, now, I am a totally different person. Which is pretty cool, because growth is important. I am in a pretty good place. That’s exciting. Like right now, I am approaching 500 words and about to write the conclusion. This is so much personal growth I amazed. 

So thank you. Thank you for helping me complete this English project with my sanity intact. Thank you for allowing me to grow and develop and learn to control my rambling. It’s pretty cool. 

Adios mis amigos. 

Peace out (for the last time),

Shaun 

Why Voting Shaun Is Better Than Voting Donald

AHHHH! AHHHHH! AHHHHHHH! AHHHHHH! 

Above, dear readers, is my current emotion/mood/probably soon to be adapted lifestyle. 

In fact, as I am writing this blog post, I am internally (and occasionally externally) screaming. 

If you are wondering why I, Miss-I-am-so-cool-calm-and-collected-hell-froze-over-then-defrosted-because-it-felt-intimidated-at-how-cool-I-am, am currently screaming, I can tell you. In fact I can do more than tell you, I can write a blog post about it. 

My desire to scream steams from the phrase: student council. To be more specific, the phrase that is causing me all the stress ever is “sophomore representative.” 

To be more clear, I am running for sophomore rep. 

I am very excited about it, I enjoy helping people and running things. 

Except, campaign week is starting Monday. As in tomorrow. As in I don’t have a completed speech, slogan, and have twenty more posters to write. 

I am so stressed it’s crazy. 

I am also sleep deprived.  And that never leads to anything good.  Ever. 

For example, the only slogans I can think of right now bash the current presidential candidates. I mean saying I don’t have any intentions of building a wall or have never been accused of being the zodiac killer may seem like pros for me, but they assume other peoples political views. 

As much as I hate to admit it, there are people out the with “Make America Great Again” hats. For example, this kid in Maine wore a hat to school and the reaction was incredible (for anti-trump people.) My favorite quote of the article was "(Students have been) knocking my hat off a lot. (I’ve) had it thrown in the trash can once." 

But, assuming someones political views is not the way to go, as my lovely friend had to tell me millions of times. 

Sadly, I can’t think of another slogan. My mom suggested taking a nap, but I don’t have the time to waste. I still have twenty more posters to create. For tomorrow morning!

AHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHH!

me using instagram as propaganda @ three am
(source: @shaunroberts_)

But, dear reader, I can do things other than complain  Now, I’d like to give a shout out to my amazing best friend ho stayed up until three am on a Friday night making posters with me. 

You, my dear, are incredible. Kudos to you and everything you do. 

I’d also like to thank my sister, who stenciled posters for me. She also gave me some pretty good advice on my speech. (Which is incredible, except for now I need to rewrite like all of my speech.) 

Also, my father deserves some credit too. He has listened to me stress for the past week without telling me to shut up. In fact, he also gave me some great advice. 

Lastly, I would like to send kudus to whoever invented social media. Social  media is a great tool for promoting your campaign. (Which may or may not be why I am writing this blog post right now.)  

So, dear readers, I am off to figure out a slogan and try not to fall asleep. 

Vote for Shaun and not Donald Trump, 

Shaun 

Aesthetic Purposes For Buying A Kitchen Table And Other "What Nots" For Birthday Presents

I love birthdays. 

Like a lot, a lot. 

I literally have a birthday everyday on my calendar. 

(Okay the sentence above may sound weird, to clarify, I do NOT celebrate my birthday nearly everyday of the calendar year. I am talking about other people’s birthdays.)

I love everything about celebrating someone else’s birthday. Mostly my friends, like good friends.  Celebrating my good friends birthday is incredible!!! 

Why? 

Well, dear reader, to explain my unexplainable passion for celebrating birthdays, I will create a chronological list of paragraphs in the very blog post you are reading now. It will be epic, trust me. 

Firstly, I love buying my friends presents. 

It’s so cool and loads of fun! I suggest you try it, you may feel lots of giddiness and regret you can’t buy them a bed or maybe this kitchen table that fits their aesthetic. It will be so much fun! 

Also, in this gift buying process, you get to pick out a funny card! 

Fun fact: I like to get my friends two cards, one with a shitty drawing by me with a heart filled message and one store bought cheesy, hilarious card that usually reminds them of getting old.  It’s real fun; 10/10 would recommend. 

After you buy the gift, dear reader, you get the joy of wrapping the gift. You get to pick out fun wrapping paper or tissue paper that matches the color scheme of your gift and place the gift in a bag. I also really love finding the perfect ribbon to tie the bag shut.

The only downside of this, is once you have a perfectly wrapped gift (or sometimes before depending on your level of impatience) you will take millions of pictures. And then, once the pictures are taken, you feel the compelling urge to send them to your friend. 

Except your friend is the one receiving the gift. And if you spoil the that gift you will be giving, you are a new type of horrible. 

So, dear reader, for however long it is between the completion of the wrapping and the actual birthday of your friend, you must wait and bite your lip and try not to squeal on how awesome their gift is. 

The next part of the fun comes when you watch your friend upward the gift. It is great to see their face when they like the gift! Also, the sound of ripping wrapping paper is oddly satisfying. 

But reader, please remember not to squeal and scream when your friend is unwrapping this gift, it may cause alarming looks when you are in public. 

The last part of the gift giving process that I love comes a year latter. 

The immense happiness of seeing the candle you gave your friend on the desk, well used, or the tee shirt you bought them actually being worn nearly a year after it was given is so incredible. I honestly love it so much I can’t put it into words. So, just trust me on this one. 

Okay, now that I sound like a materialistic fool, let me explain some of the more less gift giving and more love giving aspects of celebrating a birthday. 

Me @ my friends
(image source: pinterest) 

Firstly, in the morning when you type out the birthday text is fun. Then their reaction is fun. There are usually lots of emojis. And (the slightly less fun part of this process, depending on who you are) is when your friend finally gets annoyed from how much you text them asking how their birthday is going. 

But its okay, because the annoyance stems from love and you usually get a hug next time you see them. So it’s all good. 

Also there’s lots of joy of looking through all of the photos of the two of you to find the perfect birthday post pic. Like I literally get so much joy out of finding the most embarrassing/funny picture its not even funny.The you get to type out a silly message! More love to your friend, much fun, much love. 

Next, when you actually see them in person its so cool! Because they never actually look older, so it seems kind of weird we are celebrating their age, but then you forget and go right back to celebrating. 

Tip: don’t let thoughts on how weird western culture is distract you while you are celebrating a birthday. It never ends well. 

And lastly, the best part of celebrating a friend’s birthday is seeing how much they are smiling when the day is over. The joy you helped bring is all over their face. It’s a pretty satisfying feeling. 20/10 would recommend. 

In conclusion, I love birthdays so much. Like so so so much. 

Peace out, 

Probably celebrating someone’s birthday, Shaun 

An Almost Ideal Monday (Or Alternately Titled: Standardized Testing Strikes Again)

School sucks. 

Period. End of blog post; there is nothing more I want to say. This is me dropping the mic and walking away. 

Except, give me that mic back. 

I am nowhere near done discussing why school sucks. 

Imma gonna need a few more hours and a coffee break. Someone should call a caterer. 

Where was I?

Ahhhh…. 

School sucks (take two).

Which is really unfortunate, because today, school shouldn’t suck.

To recap, 

• I am very well rested
• I just had a week break
• School gives me an excuse to get away from my family
• My crazy, crazy family
• I got to sleep until 6:45 today
• I got to go out to breakfast with my aunt
• We had fun
• I drank an Iced Mocha
• It was really good
• Did I mention sleep?
• Coffee?
• Not taking the bus?

Anyways, I had an ideal set up to an almost okay Monday. 

Except, I walk into first period. 

The desks are set up in testing format.

My almost okay Monday becomes a terrible Monday. 

First, I panic thinking I forgot a test. Luckily, my entire class looks the same way, so I become a little (like .1111112 percent) less worried. And then, someone says the dreaded word. 

“Galileo” 

Everyone starts to scream. A fire starts. The potted plant starts to wilt, the white boards fall off the wall, and Romeo and Juliet die all over again. 

But this time, no feud is fixed and no one is promising statues. There are only the distressed faces of students about to take a standardized test the MONDAY AFTER SPRING BREAK!!!! 

Me @ Standardized Testing
 (image source: Jersey Jazzman)

There are so many things wrong with the sentence above I don’t even know where to start complaining. 

But thats okay, because according to the length rubric for these posts, I have 201 words left until the minimum and 701 words left until I hit 500 over the recommended. We have time. 

Lets start at the very first reason that sentence (actually two sentences? a baby paragraph?) sucks. To quote, “But this time, no feud is fixed and no one is promising statues.”  This is an unpromising start because it means, even after a week plus a day and a weekend break, I still remember the end to Romeo and Juliet. 

I thought breaks were meant to cleanse you of your education? That’s what all the tutoring companies advertise over the summer? Are they lying to me? Is that false advertising? The horror. 

Anyways, the fact I am still remembering that horrid play makes me upset. 

The next (and only second) reason why those sentences suck is the phrase “distressed faces of students.” In my personal opinion, students should not be distressed in school. Learning should be fun (but that’s a whole other blog post mini rant).

Thirdly, the two words standardized testing make me cry. Just typing them to state that they make me cry is upsetting. I hate standardized testing. In fact, I have a factual, long rant on why I dislike them. Here is the link, I suggest reading it. On principle, standardized testing sucks. 

Then, lastly, because I am somehow already over the recommended length of a post, the phrase “MONDAY AFTER SPRING BREAK.” And yes, dear reader, the capital letters are totally necessary. 100 percent necessary. I have never felt more passionate about the necessity of something than I feel about using capital tons write MONDAY AFTER SPRING BREAK. 

Did I mention it is also first period? First period on the MONDAY AFTER SPRING BREAK. 

There should not be anything that requires brain effort, let alone standardized testing. 

School sucks. 

So much. 

The fact some adult person somewhere decided that there would be good test results the MONDAY AFTER SPRING BREAK during first period clearly never learned common sense. 

Should there be some sort of common sense test needed to graduate? Or to start a job? 

That could be a really good idea. 

Someone hire me for big decision making jobs.  

I suggest president. 

Lots of Love, 

Future President Of Decision Making Jobs Shaun